How to tell the truth?
All of us in our life have such situations, owhich do not want to tell. Sometimes it's easier to either keep silent about what happened, or come up with an alternative version of the events. But it often happens that it is better to tell the truth.
Why do we time
Experts calculated that the average adultpeople lie about 50 times a day. It happens, of course, when you can not tell the truth. But usually this is a passing household lie, uttering which, we do not think that time. We justify ourselves by the fact that "this does not harm anyone". So what if we pretend to be sick so as not to go with our parents to the country? No one will die from this - we reason.
Psychologists say that in most situationsavoiding lies is very easy. And people lie only because they do not know how to build trust relationships in the family, with friends, or at work. Of course, it's easier to refer to the disease than to explain to parents why we do not want to go to the country today. It's easier to lie to the boss about the flood in the apartment, than to honestly admit: I overslept today.
But any lie draws another. In order not to fall for a lie, you will have to invent new details and try not to get lost in them.
And if the examples given are the little things of life, then there are serious situations that entail a serious lie. No matter how much we want to avoid it, we must learn to tell the truth.
"Tell me who your friend is ..."
Before deciding how to tell the truth,that it is necessary to do it right now. If there is nowhere to go, prepare for the conversation. Psychologists advise to begin to determine which type of person your interlocutor refers to: visual, audial or kinesthetic. If you know a person for a long time, it will be easy to remember how he perceives information better. Audial needs to be heard, the visual prefers to see everything with his own eyes, kinesthetics are important touches, tactile sensations.
With this determined. What does this give us? In a conversation with a visual, use as many "visual" key words as possible: see, look, let's look and so on. In this case, try to look into his eyes. It is better if an unpleasant conversation takes place in a beautiful place: a park, on the river bank, in a cozy cafe.
In conversation with the audial, operate with the words: listen, hear, listen to me, etc. But eye contact here may be inappropriate. Better place pleasant music on the background.
Words are keys to kinesthetics: feel, feel, hard, soft, etc. Another way to the heart of the kinesthetic is touch. Casually, touch his hand, touch his shoulder, stroke his knee, etc., depending on the level of your relationship.
When and how to tell the truth
First, start a difficult conversation only when both you and your interlocutor are in a calm state of mind, and the atmosphere is sufficiently favorable for a leisurely conversation.
Secondly, when you tell, talk about your experiences, tell how you yourself are unhappy with this whole situation.
Thirdly, always listen attentively to everything that the interlocutor will tell you, even if it is unpleasant.
Of course, the strategy of behavior depends on the situation. For example, in the question of how to tell a guy the truth about the fact that you no longer love him, you need to be especially delicate. But you should not delay confession and give false hopes. Tell me honestly: feelings are over, but you are not to blame, this happens in life. In any case, it will be unpleasant for him to hear it, so it's not worthless to sweeten the bitter pill. But from accusations in his address it is better to refrain, at least out of respect for former feelings.
So that you do not have to wriggle out, it's better to avoid lying. Think, so it is necessary to lie? It is always better to understand the reasons that do not allow you to tell the truth.