Current and important issues through the prism of the psychologist Elena Shubina
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Equality in the relationship

 

The whole psychology of relationships is now striving for one thing. To help a person realize and accept the simplest algorithm of a happy life:

 

HEALTHY RELATIONS HAVE BUILT ON EQUALITY CONDITIONS!

 

If everyone suddenly realized that this is a utopia, of course, then claims and offenses would have disappeared all over the world, and we would just learn to live with each other. But for now, everything goes to the opposite. To the desire to beat or to conscious loneliness. Which is very a pity, of course, because living together in love is a thrill!

 

I now see in women 30+ a massive tendency of leveling the role of a man to the level of the "sperm bank". And in general, to the "bank", in financial and other respects.

A woman does not want to live with a man, she wants to consume it.

In particular, emotionally. In response, the man consumes it or leaves.

 

At the root of this lies the feminine "you owe me."And if you don't, then I will deprive you of something. Your attention, sex, child, or talking to you (it used to be in the party committee, now to the tax office).Some time ago, in the generation of our fathers-grandfathers, it worked. Modern people no longer have. It turns out that a woman is trying to bind a man by all means, but she does not come out.Breaks off the hook! And you will not take it as a child, and with threats, and with the buildup of everything that can be increased ... All the same, it breaks down, reptile!

 

Where do you think so much magic is from? Love spells, turn-ups, "arrangement" to get married. Because they do not see another way, and even thoughts do not admit that it exists. There is no healthy model in the head!

 

And in a healthy model, everything is simple. We must understand that you are not a queen, and he owes you nothing. And will give only if he wants to give.

 

And your task is to be such that you want to live with you and are afraid of losing.

And to give you would be happiness. When a woman understands this and asks the question: what is it necessary to be, so that a man wants to be with her voluntarily, without any conditions and bindings, and really becomes so, everything changes drastically.From wanting to be together, have children with her, to build a life of rebound no.

 

And this is achieved, by the way, I can not say, not by adjusting and abandoning myself, but just the opposite.It comes when you take away all extremes and live happily in the moment.

 

 

 

 

This is a win-win strategy (double win) when you feel good and I feel good.

 

  • When I don’t sacrifice myself and I don’t kill in everyday life and at work for your good, but I don’t demand it from you either.

  • When all problems are solved immediately and no one accumulates resentment.

  • And when, without aggravating the difficulties, you are still by default ready to give as much support as necessary to the other, knowing full well that tomorrow, when you will need this support, you will ask for it, and they will give it to you too.

Well, on the little things ... beautiful sex needs and mutual tenderness every day. This is about what I call equality.

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